not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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