I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
