How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
