We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
