We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
