He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
