They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
