Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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