JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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