the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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