Heybabeimwearingurpanties
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
