He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
