I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I want her autograph on my taint
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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