she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i think i just lost a toe
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
