He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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