you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
