I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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