Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
