Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
