the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
