gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
