No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
