We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize
