i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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