she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
