Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
do herpes really smell.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
