omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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