i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
