Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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