I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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