East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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