I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
