I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Two words: blizzard sex
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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