I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
