why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
