i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
