I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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