hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Mom said you looked used
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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