Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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