Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
