why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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