If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you traded sex for a burrito?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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