i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
