she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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