i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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