ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
