Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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