Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
