i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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