Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
